Worse Then Grief
by TheEpicallyAwesome1
Summary: Matthew was my older twin brother, who had committed suicide two years ago before my very eyes! I had always blamed myself…and still do to this day… Sequel to "just like you" but about Alfred. Rated T for swearing.


**Some one requested this...so here you go. Sequel 2 just like you, Alfred's POV. Enjoy  
**

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_I walked through the dark, narrow corridors, the moon illuminating the window frames with its eerie light. In the distance somewhere, a clock was ticking, and with each tick I felt more and more nervous. Not only was it dark and claustrophobic in here, but it was so cold I had goose-bumps and my skin seemed to be blue in the dim moonlight. But the most nerve-wreaking thing was I knew something was coming…I just didn't know what or when…it reminded me of the computer game: Amnesia the dark descent, which I had been forced into playing. _

_A sudden sob jerked me away from my trance. A pale figure appeared out of no-where at the end of the never-ending corridor; it in fact wasn't just pale…but a ghostly white! _

_It stood with its back to me, yet I recognized who it was instantly…_

"_Matty?" I asked, my voice barely a whisper and my heart thumping against my freezing chest, making it ache with not just physical, but emotional pain. Matthew was my older twin brother, who had committed suicide two years ago before my very eyes! I had always blamed myself…and still do to this day…for I could have easily given him the attention he needed. But I hadn't and now it was too late…_

_When he didn't turn around, I repeated myself, but louder this time.  
This time he heard me, though he didn't turn to face me. "Al…" he asked, "why did you do this to me?"  
His voice sounded cold and harsh, not like his at all, but like a demon had possessed him entirely. _

_I was speechless, finding it hard to breathe, and each breath that escaped my lungs was agonizing. I was afraid of course; even though this was my brother, he was nether the less a ghost, which was my biggest phobia… _

_A few seconds passed, and I still hadn't replied, so Mathew did. "Look what you made me do" he cried, turning round so that I could see a huge gash in his stomach where he had stabbed the knife, his violet eyes blazing…I turned, trying to get away from the blood…but a wall blocked my path!_

_Mathew smiled evilly. "You will not escape" he told me. I just shut my eyes tightly, hoping that the wall was just a hallucination. But when I opened them again, it was still there, and Mathew's ghost was only a few centimeters away from me! "Don't blink!" he laughed in that horrid way, jumping at me with his blood-covered arms outstretched, ready to drag me down into the depths of hell…_

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I woke up, panting heavily, shaking and drenched in sweat. I have had similar dreams before, but I always woke up before the ghost had turned around! Mathew's words resounded in my head. "_Al…why did you do this to me…"_

A tear fell down my cheek, and then I was sobbing uncontrollably, wishing somehow, that I had been a better brother to him, and the hero I kept saying I was…

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"Wow. Al are you ok you look terrible" Arthur noted the following morning, as he sat down beside me for breakfast.  
"Gee, thanks Artie, that's bound to make me feel better" I replied sarcastically, prodding at my pancake. I had got no sleep after waking up from the nightmare; I had been too scared I'd dream of something worse…so I had spent the whole night crying, or trying to stop.

Arthur glared at me. "I was only asking" he snapped, though there was a hint of pity in his emerald eyes.  
I bit my lip, suddenly regretting that I had annoyed him. After all, he had been worried…  
"It's just…I dreamt about my brother last night" I explained, bowing my head so that Arthur wouldn't see the tears that had formed in my eyes.

Arthur's own eyes widened in sympathy, and placing an arm around my shoulder said "Oh…I'm sorry I asked. It's obviously something that upsets you".  
"It's fine" I insisted, but it was clear from my now tear stained face that it wasn't. Arthur pulled me into a comforting embrace, and just let me cry. I was grateful; none of my other friends would do that. Well, apart from perhaps Feliciano…

Once I had cried so much, I believed that I had no tears left in me, Arthur offered me some tea, which I gladly accepted, and even though the warmth of the liquid helped my raw throat, it just felt like I was drinking staples. Once I was done, we walked together to class.

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Science was terrible. We had started a new topic of CSI, in which we had to watch a video about these two guys who had to go underground, and one of them fell into some acid…and ugh it was just horrible! Plus it somehow managed to remind me of Mathew's death…  
After that, we had Religious Studies, where we had to talk about people we knew who had passed away. Well as you can probably guess, when my turn came, I just burst into tears and raced out of the room, followed by a very angry Ludwig, sent by the teacher, who said if he ended up getting an F in his RE results, it would be MY fault! Thank God Arthur had followed as well and escorted me back to the room with his arm around my shoulder. I'm just glad I have such a great friend to help me pull though this s*** I'm going through...

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By recess, I was an emotional wreak, and I had cried so much I was sick, so I had to be taken to the nurse. She told me that I should just rest for the day, and wrote a note in me and Arthur's school diary allowing us to miss the rest of the day's lessons, then dismissing us, but not before recommending that I see the school's counselor.

Now in my dorm room, Arthur made himself some tea, while I lay on the coach, thinking about Matty and how I am no hero if I couldn't even save the person dearest to me_…_

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**REVIEWS PEOPLE!  
**


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